Have you ever been late for a sports practice or game, and realized you hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so you grab the nearest bag of chips, and run to the car to get going? Active teenagers are constantly on the go, and might not always have the time to sit down and have a nice, healthy meal. But, what they don’t always realize is that eating healthy foods will improve their performance in games and practice.
(http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/sports/eatnrun.html#)
--Posted by Isabella G.
Your first few sentences were very good. I like your intro because it is very detailed. However, I think you start talking about too much information in the intro and you could put that information in the other slots. For example, the calorie intake part, should go in the calorie intake part. It is just a little too lengthy for an intro. Try SAVING the information for the "meat" part of the blog.
ReplyDeletetoo long. just say that macro and micro nutrients are needed and list a few. Readability issue
ReplyDeleteI thought the beginning of the intro was good then i saw some grammar mistakes and i thought that you were going to a too much detail at the end
ReplyDelete